Twisted Logic
by Starsurfer108
Summary: Loki weaves his mischief, and shenanigans ensue. Odin x Selvig. Sort of. Not really. Basically I tried to take the craziest pairing I could think of and make it believable. Enjoy! ONESHOT. COMPLETE.


Note: Takes place towards the end of Thor: The Dark World.

-0-

A soldier that had been sent to Svartalfheim stood before Odin with his report.

"There was one casualty – Loki."

Odin surveyed the lithe man in front of him. "Who are you trying to fool, boy?"

The man's eyes narrowed, and with a swish of his arms, his appearance changed to that of Loki. Loki did a mock Asgardian salute, with the implication of also respecting Odin's powers of perception.

"Father."

"Loki."

After about ten seconds, Loki frowned. "Is that all you have to say to me?"

Odin let out a deep breath. "No, it is not. However, as _obvious_ it is that you appeared before me, I still would like more time to prepare my words."

"Come now, Father," said Loki almost sarcastically. "You can be honest with me."

"Hmph."

Loki took in a deep breath. "You still grieve for Mother, and you want to respect her wishes. But as valuable as her contributions were, you are unsure of the extent you will embody her behaviour."

Odin looked at Loki coldly, searching for any signs that his great love, Frigga, had meant something to his wayward son.

Loki sensed what Odin was trying to feel, and automatically his expression softened as he thought of her.

Odin gave a slight nod as he recognised the emotion, and stood up. "She seemed to be the only one that could actually reach you," he said, pacing.

"She also seemed to be the only one that wanted me alive," muttered Loki spitefully.

Odin gave him a murderous look. "Don't try to manipulate me, boy."

"Of course not, Father," he said smoothly. After a pause, he said "I could give you a vision of her, you know. The vibrations can remain for some time."

"Really," replied Odin, less than enthusiastic at playing into one of Loki's schemes but at the same time, weary of constantly punishing his son, of being on bad terms with him.

"Yes. All that I require is the use of your sceptre, Gungnir-"

Odin immediately raised his eyebrows, cutting off Loki, and stared at him for what seemed like a long time. "Very well. I agree to let you use Gungnir."

Loki blinked.

"But before I do, Loki, I shall curse you to behave as I would, until my return. You may take care of the throne in my absence, with my appearance. Hopefully you will learn some responsibility, as well."

A blinding gold light came from the sceptre into Loki. Odin then passed the sceptre to Loki. Loki immediately released a blinding gold light into Odin.

"Well? Where's this vision?"

"Let us go to the Pool of Clarity, Father."

Odin peered into the waters. "What's she doing in a lab?"

-0-

Taking a deep breath, Dr. Erik Selvig stretched, then jumped out of bed, cricking his neck. Ah, it was good to feel normal again. Not that his job required a great degree of sanity. In fact, crunching numbers day after day could drive anyone insane, he thought, ironically.

Dressing, he grabbed a quick bite for breakfast. He still was on edge for the first hour or so each day, but then could relax if he didn't see anything unusual. To his delight, he could feel his self-confidence return a little more quickly each day.

Ready to face the world, he opened the front door to see an elderly man in golden armour standing there.

"My dear, you look radiant-"

Instinctively, he slammed the door.

_Damn. _

-0-

Erik peeked around the corner in the lab, and let out a breath when he saw that he was alone. He had practically run out the back door and to his car, deliberately not looking at the front door. Just a tiny little relapse. If it didn't happen again, it didn't count, right?

To his dismay, he heard the creak of the front door. Turning, he saw the man in gold looking at him curiously.

"Ah. Here you are," the man said genially.

"Wh-what do you want?" asked Erik. He wasn't sure if interacting would help or make the situation worse, but maybe, just maybe, it would help resolve whatever serious underlying emotional issue he had.

"Your advice, as usual."

"Sure, I can do that," he replied, gaining hope. Surely this wouldn't be too painful. "About…?"

"Our children, of course."

Erik's face fell. "Ah, of course."

"I just don't know what's going to happen."

"Well, what you can't see can't hurt you, right?" Erik replied, giving a hopeful laugh.

Odin frowned. "You're not making any sense, my dear."

Great. Even his visions thought he was crazy.

*** Back in Asgard ***

Thor stood in the throne room, before whom he thought was Odin. Thor had refused the throne, and Loki reacted with precision with the imagined kind words of Odin.

"If I were proud of the man my son had become, even that I could not say. It would speak only from my heart. Go, my son."

"Thank you, Father." Thor turned and left.

"Oh no. Thank _you_," muttered Loki, smirking – things should get even more interesting with this new arrival on Earth.

*** On Earth ***

"Well, it has been good seeing you again, my dear. Your advice shall be given due consideration."

Erik nodded.

"I have a final request, though…"

"Yes?" Erik perked up. Perhaps this meant the golden man would now disappear.

"Please wear the dress that you are most fond of," said Odin, bringing forth some white material.

Erik rather enthusiastically discarded his clothing and put on the dress.

"Your figure hasn't changed since the day I married you," said Odin fondly. "I believe that you no longer need these unusual clothes," he said, picking up the discarded clothing and throwing them out the window.

"Er, thanks," Erik replied cautiously.

There was scuffling at the door, and Darcy burst through. Seeing Dr. Selvig in unusual attire, she shouted behind her. "Jane! It's happening again!"

Erik frowned. _Again?_ Oh dear – hope she didn't mean that too literally.

Jane and Thor ran inside. "Father!" Thor exclaimed, happy yet a bit wary considering the circumstances.

"Thor, I know this must be a surprise for you. Doesn't she look absolutely breathtaking?"

"Erm…" Thor noted that the figure-hugging dress did little to conceal the shape of Erik's nether regions. "I suppose my breath _has_ left me…" replied Thor, not entirely sure what to say.

Odin shook his head, exasperated. "Thor, do you not recognise your Mother?"

"Well, I do recognise the dress…"

Odin's eyes widened. "Loki!" he shouted. A second later, Odin was engulfed by a golden glow. To his horror, he saw an older man standing where the vision of his wife had been, a look of trepidation on his face.

"Get out of that dress immediately!" Odin barked.

Terrified, Dr. Selvig wasted no time in stripping off. Everyone immediately screamed and averted their eyes.

Odin grabbed the dress and stormed out. "Heimdall!" He was gone in a flash.

Thor graciously found a towel and handed it to Dr. Selvig to preserve what little dignity he had left.

Erik accepted it with thanks. "I'm so glad I'm not crazy," he said, relieved.

Darcy gave him the once-over with her eyes.

"Darcy…" he replied warningly.

"Hey, it beats wearing only underwear," she said innocently, giving a nod of approval.

*** Back in Asgard ***

"Loki!"

Gungnir flew from Loki's hand into the grasp of its rightful owner.

Loki gulped. "Yes, Father?"

"Do you think you can make me the butt of your jokes, boy?"

"But, Father, did you not enjoy-"

"Hyannaananagghhh!"

Loki stood there, stunned.

Hm, perhaps he'd learned something about the boy – that if he wanted Loki to shut up, he should just make random sounds.

"Take him away!" Odin barked.

A bit miffed, Loki allowed himself to be led to the jails.

Now alone, Odin pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to determine the right course of action. Damn Loki and his irreverent behaviour. A bright light appeared from the side, just outside his vision. Curious, he turned to see a glowing figure of his wife, Frigga, who gave a compassionate look and a small nod of encouragement. She then disappeared.

A peaceful expression returned to Odin's face as he shook his head, rolled his eyes, and smiled.

END


End file.
